Friday, January 10, 2014

Why the Sports Fan and the Comic Geek are the Same Guy

Like many, I keep a foot in both of these arenas. I'm not 100% into either. As far as sports go, I'm full on into football. Well, NFL football. I don't care about college, arena leagues or semi-pro crap. I play fantasy, and despite my one championship, I make the playoffs about 40% of the time. I like hockey, but I'm not a die hard fan. I watch a game here and there, and I love the playoffs. Baseball, basketball and soccer can all go fuck themselves. When it comes to comic books, I don't read them. I've written a few that you've never heard of. I like the movies and cartoons made from comics. I enjoy walking through a comicon and seeing all of the artwork and the craziness. I rarely buy anything.

Many of you, though, decide to join one team and ridicule the other. Sports fans look at comic geeks as losers who look at kids' shit. Comic geeks look at sports fans as jocks who need to grow up. Guess what? You're both right, but you need to realize that you aren't really that different.

You Have Collector Cards: Whether it's Pokemon, Magic the Gathering or your Shaquille O'Neal Upper Deck rookie card, you like to keep them in their little pocket sleeves in their little binders. Maybe you put them in a hard plastic case for safe keeping. You trade them with friends, you buy and sell them on eBay and you treasure them as though they are gold, even though they're cardboard. Whichever way you go, Topps has you all by the balls.

You Play the Video Games: Do you want to play a few games of Madden? NHL Hitz, maybe? What about Marvel vs. Capcom or Arkham Asylum? It all boils down to a grown man with an overblown joystick in his hand for hours on end.

Your Heroes Have Silly Nicknames: Who do you root for? Black Panther or Black Mamba? CJ2K or C3P0? Birdman or Spider-Man? If you tell me it's Megatron, you'll have to specify whether he's a wide receiver or a robot in disguise. God forbid any of them get angry. I'd hate to see them Hulk out or go Beast Mode on me.

You Dress Like Your Favorite Guy: I don't care if it's your Tom Brady jersey or that official Punisher t-shirt, you're proud of your guy and your love of that guy. Next stop: wearing his skin.

You Wish You Could Lead Your Own Super Team: Face it, your rotisserie baseball league is merely a few tiny action figures away from your Heroclix group.

You Like to Play Dress-Up When You Get Together in Large Groups: When you go to your version of a fanboy meetup, be it a game at a stadium or a comicon in a convention hall, you see a significant amount of weirdos dressed up in costumes. For example...

Sure, you might not be so different after all, but at least you can both agree on one thing. At least you're not into wrestling, right? I mean, hey, who the hell wants to watch two buff guys in tight clothes beating the hell out of each other?

Oh, yeah. You do.

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